We are at the beginning of the year and surely many have already drawn up their list of good resolutions: that whether to cut down, get a better job, achieve emotional stability or make peace with that loved one who has been far away for a long time, all these very commendable goals But sometimes we are plunged into stress and restlessness that, in the end, takes its toll on our health.
Many people get stressed out trying to achieve their goals, and fall into depressive states when they fail to achieve them, which is totally contradictory to the initial approach - comments motivational psychologist David Ernesto Tancredi, who accentuates the psychosomatic aspect that can derive from a state of frustration.
To reverse this situation, Camilo Cruz, in his text "Personal Overcoming", proposes an exercise that eradicates stress and frustration when pursuing a purpose. Imagine that your subconscious mind is like a large company, a generator of ideas, dreams, and countless emotions and desires. One of your most important responsibilities as president of this company is to invest enough time in planning your future, setting goals and making decisions about how to respond to the circumstances that you constantly face ”, says the author.
Don't be surprised if, for example, when setting goals, your professional self wants you to focus exclusively on your professional goals, not caring at all about the needs of the other areas of your life. After all, from their point of view, your career goals should come first.
"Ignore those who say that 'it is impossible to do everything.' Having a balanced life is not only possible, but it should be your most important goal if you truly want to be happy. However, goals are a plan of action. Like any plan, they must be analyzed, implemented and evaluated. Below, Cruz outlines one way to undertake this journey:
<br>• Be realistic. Try to focus on what you really want to do, remember "the one that squeezes a lot, covers little." Goals require being focused and motivated. Write down your goals and write down all the details. This way you can always compare the results.
<br>• The goals have to be defined and if possible quantitative. Don't say I'm going to lose weight. Define how many kilos you are going to lose, and in how long. Write down how you are going to lose them for example half a kilo a week for 6 months.
• Seek help. It's easier to abandon a goal if you don't have to answer to anyone, but if you have to tell a friend (or your mom, your boyfriend, or your husband) that you're not going to continue, you're going to be a little embarrassed.
It takes time for a change to become an established habit. It will probably take a couple of months before a change like waking up half an hour early to exercise becomes part of your life. That's because it takes your brain time to get used to the idea that your new habit is part of your regular routine. Also, “repeating a goal makes it stick. State your goal out loud each morning to remind yourself of what you want and what you are working for. Every time you remember your goal, you are training your brain to make it possible ”, says the specialist, who remembers that pleasing other people does not work. “The key to making change permanent is finding the desire for it to happen within you - you have to do it because you really want it, not because a friend, friend, coach, parent, or someone else wants you to please them. It will be harder to stay focused and motivated if you do something out of obligation to someone else. "
Impairments do not mean failure. “Mistakes are part of the learning process as you train your brain to think in a new way. It may take you several attempts to reach your goal, but that does not matter, it is normal for you to make mistakes or give up sometimes when you try to make a change, ”says psychologist José David Sánchez, an expert in motivational matters, and who remembers that all people make mistakes and don't worry too much about them. "Just remind yourself that you must continue to achieve your goals."
A goal, expressed negatively, robs a leadership of a certain effectiveness. A team leader, faced with a punctuality problem, will find more answers in that team if she knows how to positively formulate a goal that ends lateness than if she simply says: "you don't have to be late." Emotionally and mentally, a positive idea helps, even if it requires effort and struggle, than a negative idea - points out the expert. It helps a dieter more to imagine himself slim, skinny, and healthy than to think of the 20 kilos to lose weight.