A letter for Sofia

Last week we published the story of Sofía, a young woman who grew up in a demanding and emotionally absent family, so one day she decided to leave her mother's home, seek psychological help and bet on her.

Her story moved the psychologist Fernando Pérez, who sent us "a letter to Sofía" with a series of advice that, in reality, can help any adolescent, young person or adult who is struggling to reconnect with his inner child, heal his family injuries and not repeating patterns of behavior. Here it goes:

First, I want to congratulate Sofía for having made one of the most difficult decisions: independence and autonomy, despite the fear and fragility that they can generate.

Later, I would like to tell you that that mother and that father, like everyone who hurts us, were his true teachers, the ones who taught him what he knows about life, love and hate, pain and pleasure, loneliness and solidarity, strength and weakness, sadness and joy, suffering and resistance. Teachers who, along with the loving and special, made her the woman she is now.

That abandonment not only implies physical absence, but also indifference or distance. Abandonment makes people lose or find themselves and they found themselves.

That each human being carries or suffers a cross, a suffering that would allow him, if there is maturity, his awakening, discovering his meaning and mission in life, which largely consists of learning, moving forward and loving, despite ...

You have two options: hate or forgive and it is a choice. That hatred anchors her to the past and pain. That forgiveness, as difficult as it sounds, will allow you to grow.

That she will also have to choose between considering herself or assuming herself as a victim or as a survivor who continues on.

That I invite you to see the movie The cabin by British director Stuart Hazeldine, based on the novel by William Paul Young, that takes away the Hollywood tones and sees her as an investigator, taking what serves her and discarding what is irrelevant to her.

Never forget that "work addiction" does not make you more industrious or applied, which in fact is typical of countries where the culture of capital reigns.

That many parents only teach their children about the suffering and hostility of the world, but that she can turn that around, learning and raising herself with a pedagogy of life, love, joy, beauty and the hope.

That he is not bad or guilty for feeling what he felt or feels ... for his parents, for his family.

Who can read the book Man's Search for Meaning, written by Austrian psychiatrist Viktor Emil Frankl and published in Germany in 1946, which will make you learn more about the human capacity to transcend difficulties.

That healing her wounds implies or happens to become the best version of herself that she can be, discovering that she is her and her mother is her mother, and her father is her father, and her brother is her brother, and that there is nothing more toxic than automatic loyalties.

That when true love is discovered, it begins to radiate towards others, becoming light for the lost, needy and suffering.

That she can love, help, guide and accompany other people out of their hell, even with something as simple as writing and telling their own story, contribute to breaking the taboo that exists around these topics.

That your case is one more example of what is failing in our education. Simón Bolívar, in his Angostura Speech, proposed the creation of a Moral Power, with a Chamber of Education, whose function would be to educate mothers (also fathers, we would add), so that, in turn, they educate their children for a new stable, secure, prosperous, united and happy Republic. I wish we could start that crusade soon.    

Tell me your story, write it as it may, together we shape and share it. Spread the different forms of love, it is always necessary: [email protected]



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