Sexuality in a Pandemic: a challenge during confinement

The fact that people are in confinement due to the pandemic, interacting with their partners 24 hours a day at home, or those who live with their parents, plus their children, the dog and the cat ... has generated problems in couple relationships, to the point that it has also generated sexual disjunctions.

The problems related to the pandemic and its consequences in sexual relations are common in all countries, since the sexual behavior of all people is the same, according to experts.

If in itself coexistence and relationships are very complex, if we add confinement, anxiety about the pandemic, loss of work or financial problems and we add little privacy or the right time to have sex , a trigger is created for many divorces to be generated.

“The psychological and economic impact of this pandemic will last for months after the return to normalcy. This situation may even mean the end of many relationships, ”says Dr. Maylin Bello, a specialist in sexology at the Comprehensive Community and Social Health Program Foundation (Piscys) of the Ministry for the Penitentiary Service.

The pandemic has not only impacted stable relationships, but also those couples who do not live under the same roof because the ways of meeting have no longer been consecutive. "The meetings for protection and care have been prolonged when the person is aware of the coronavirus care," says Bello.

As for those people who are preparing to start a new relationship, they emphasize that at this time it is risky due to exposure to contagion, as well as having non-monogamous sexual relations.

The ways are sought

However, the pandemic has brought with it the generation of new alternatives for people to have these erotic and sexual encounters. In the market, new applications to have relationships through apps and computer media have increased substantially during the months of confinement. Something that has also happened with the consumption of pornography, according to some studies.

Here highlights the call sextIngA strategy that already existed but whose use has increased with the pandemic. This term refers to the sending of sexual and erotic messages and in some cases misapplied even pornographic, through mobile phones, messages, audios or videos that incite the other person to eroticize and feel sexual desire.

The sexologist assures that people who have a long distance relationship and who have not been able to find each other physically as a result of the pandemic have used this method to be able to have that approach. "The positive is that it has been very effective and safe because if one person has coronavirus and the other does not, they can handle this technique of sextIng to maintain sexual desire, active and effective communication and the couple. 

However, the sextIng runs risks if there are no adequate provisions: not to place the face, or tattoos, specific marks ... because it is necessary to prevent what goes up to the web or on the cell phone, falls into the hands of another person or that is used by the couple as retaliation at the time of the break up.

“In stable relationships that are all under the same roof, during the pandemic, this situation has prevented the couple from having the usual sexual encounters. However, on the other hand, it has been found that spending more time at home has generated that the level of tolerance can be lost and if in that relationship there was a certain rupture or there was a certain discord, this can be a stimulus for the differences to increase , there has even been an increase in violence in the partner and at home, because people, not having the appropriate level of their emotions, can drain them in a non-operative and effective way, both towards the partner and towards the children and the people who live under the same roof ”, stressed Bello. 

Get carried away by creativity

In the opinion of Dr. Bello, it is important that during the pandemic that creativity and imagination that the couple must have to rescue sexual desire must be activated, but it is also imperative to apply emotional intelligence, be in connection with our emotions and understand the emotions of the couple. 

"We have to be clear that this is an event that should not separate the couple, but should unite them and for this we can evoke memories of why they are together. Of course, if the couple have had problems that have not been corrected, this may increase in this context, but if we remember why they are together, why they live together, talk about how they have changed in these years and ask the other about their new tastes ”. Quarantine is the perfect excuse to take a comprehensive and coherent look at the relationship. This is going to be a strong anchor for the couple's relationship. 

With the confinement there are more opportunities for intimacy, so saying that you are tired to avoid your partner can no longer be an excuse. If you are coming off a sexual slump with your spouse, "it is best to take the time to talk about it and fan the flame." Although the confinement limits the novelty, according to the expert, you have to try in different places in the house, help yourself with audiovisual material or put into practice other rituals for which there is usually no time, such as massages or candlelight night. At first, many will experience an increase in sexual intercourse, but then it will drop out of habit. At this point, the expert recommends agreeing days free of sex so that the other does not feel rejection.

Tips before sexting

Although it is a common practice, it can pose a serious danger within the internet because, after sending these images, the sender loses all control over them. In this way, that content can reach many more people for various reasons:

  • The receiver purposely sends that content to other people, who re-send it endlessly until it reaches a very wide audience.
  • The protagonist of the images mistakenly sends them to the wrong person, who sends them to other people.
  • Someone steals the mobile, tablet or computer of one of those who owns the images, who publishes them on the internet.
  • Someone cracks the mobile device or computer of one of those who owns the images, thus sending it to more people, publishing them on the internet or forwarding them to the protagonist to start a phase of blackmail or extortion.

Besides knowing what is sexting, it is necessary to know that these images can end up in multiple places:

  • On the mobile devices of the protagonist's acquaintances, such as their own parents.
  • Social networks, where you have public access to them.
  • Pages with sexual and / or pornographic content.
  • In hands of groomers, who see their prey perfect for them to comply with their requests (groomers is all harassment produced through the internet - social networks, forums, online games ... - by an adult towards a minor with clearly sexual intentions)

The sextingor sending messages, images or videos with erotic content does not have to pose a danger if it is done with caution, moderation and common sense. The aforementioned problems do not always arise from sending this content. However, once the photographs are sent, the control that was had over them is lost, and they may end up in the hands of unwanted people or in public places (such as social networks). 

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