First, some proverbs, verses, and aphorisms to provide context:
"You are treated as you are seen!"
"Don't judge a book by its cover."
"Even if a monkey dresses in silk, it's still a monkey."
"No matter how much you try to show off, your privates will always be visible."
"Caesar's wife must not only be virtuous but also appear to be so."
"The habit does not make the monk."
"In the theater of the world, we are all comedians; each one plays his part in the costumes you gave him."
"Firefighter, firefighter, I want to be a firefighter, nobody mess with my identity." I want to be a firefighter.
"Be yourself" Be yourself
And the list of messages, called witches or parental messages by psychology, continues; they all sow, cultivate, denounce, or question the social conditioning for interpreting, valuing, and treating others, at least in the first instance of a relationship.
It's no longer about character, as a regulatory system of behavior that compensates for the lack of animal instinct that humans are losing. Now it's about how one will be judged for a job, by a partner, family, and friends, as the appropriate candidate; it's a form of cognitive economy. They are the first filter that determines the next step in a budding relationship; it seems unfair, but that's how it is.
He will be the lead actor, supporting actor, or filler in the movies of life in which he participates, with a script or plot that he did not write and sometimes with few degrees of freedom.
Human talent recruiters, especially those from companies and organizations that have developed a dress code and code of conduct, will evaluate you for casting not based on your skills, abilities, and merit, but based on how they see you, how you behave, and how you fit into the organizational culture.
However much he resists it, the human being is more than a gregarious animal, he is a being of social relations, you cannot do without this acceptance and belonging to a collective.
Everyone fits into a role, even the rebel, the "flower-eater." Categories exist; sometimes they are explicitly defined and taught, other times they are tacit, part of a culture and shared social codes of groups. They are part of identity.
These cognitive biases can become so distorted that they turn into stereotypes or worse, prejudices, becoming subtle forms of discrimination.
Has it always been this way, or is it just a sign of modernity, of the market economy, of the last three centuries, where social relations are reduced to commercial exchange and where the other is a thing, a means, whose appeal is the utility that can be extracted from them?
In stark terms, you will be an object or thing selected, purchased, and consumed, and perhaps even discarded. Being a product is simply the other end of this spectrum.
It's a role-playing game; it may have become naturalized, crystallized, normalized, to the point of convincing you that it is an "organic" form of existence, the only possible one.
“Life is a Carnival”, where everyone wears masks.
"Oh, don't cry... Life is a carnival."
And it is more beautiful to live singing…»
In this role one plays in life, impulses, fears, and potential are also hidden, limiting what one "is" and can "be," or hindering what one "is." Popular culture also refers to this fact, with song lyrics such as "Yo soy el cantante" (Héctor Lavoe) or "Payaso" (Javier Solís), which speak of their brilliance and performance on stage, concealing their sorrows and sadness.
Unique individual and authentic
Just as human beings develop their character, they must also develop their role in this theater of the world, choosing their masks in this carnival; this is what is known as developing their personality.
This task is a constant challenge from birth to adulthood; some scholars refer to it as psychosocial tasks to be resolved. In each new social environment, a role must be chosen, or one will be imposed upon them. They will have a certain degree of freedom of choice, depending on their character. They will base their choice on models or references, whether real or imagined, influenced by admiration or affection. These include parents, uncles, aunts, grandparents, comic book or television heroes or heroines, teachers, friends, and public figures such as politicians, charismatic leaders, scientists, music or sports stars, artists, and many others. They will choose their mask, repressing or concealing any behavior that doesn't fit the character, sometimes unconsciously. If they manage to control or channel the unconscious traits of the role, they will become "One," and their actions will be coherent. This process is called individuation, which is not the same as individualization. One deals with the development of Self and the other is a prevalent quality of behavior.
If that individual stops acting like a herd, if his life has meaning, if he doesn't kill time, if he manages to be in harmony with the context and the situation, he manages to be authentic.
A halfway closure
In the previous reflection, we discussed the need to have a set of values that give direction or a compass to our actions beyond the push of needs. We talked about resilience as a quality to withstand the most pressing situations in life without breaking down, and we added to the mix the meaning of life, as a superior, existential value, a why to move forward in the face of any how that life presents.
On this occasion, another key is added: being authentic, integrating and harmonizing the manifestations of the conscious and unconscious, being "One", in every context and situation.
